toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
