His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
