recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
