I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
