Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
