we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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