you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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