I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Someone shit on the floor
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
