I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
