her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
