We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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