from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
