so that wasnt chicken after all
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
