Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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