im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
