No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
