Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
