He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
