once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
