i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
