In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
