some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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