One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
