Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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