When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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