heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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