Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
