Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
