Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
