did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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