either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
