Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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