I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
