So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
