So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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