My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I will be naked everywhere
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
