he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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