margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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