Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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