I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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