Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
