My balls are so social today.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
