In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize