He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
