i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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