and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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