Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish I could teleport
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You pole danced in your parka.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
