how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
