So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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