he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
