That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
