so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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